Negativity and happiness both are infectious

Negativity and happiness both are infectious

One of my friends was giving free English language tuition to a group of students who can’t afford to get some extra help due to their lack of financial resources. The result came out after the national exam. The teacher found out that few students in the group passed with high percentage marks and two of them failed. Those that are failed did not turned to the teacher even after weeks. The teacher asked the student after meeting one of them after a while. Why didn’t you come to see me?  The student responded; I failed in the exam and I was ashamed of it.  Did you know John also failed in the exam.  The teacher asked again. Who all passed the exam? And the student responded. Mathew and Peter failed. (Two others who lived a mile away from their village). Have you noticed the negativity in the conversation? There are students who passed with high percentage marks live next to his door, but he is mentioning about the name of those who failed. 

When I was growing up even though there were a lot of positive things around us there were equal negativity. It was hard to find some one encouraging you or appreciating you. People believe the appreciation would spoil you as a child. So I grow up with a lot of negativity. Primarily in the Indian society the question is asked where is the 2 marks when you come home with 98 out of 100.

Once someone called people who are dominated by the negative energy as energy vampires. In other words they are bloodsuckers.  I have realized one fact in life primarily from my counseling experience; the people who are the difficult to love are the ones who need it the most. Just like a series of water drop make up a waterfall, series of negative thoughts make up your negative mental state.
  
When my grandfather left this world he left some land as his possession for his children. Beyond the earthly possessions the most important thing we leave behind in this world is kindness, love and encouragement.  Love and kindness will last into eternity. The words have the miracle power.  The Prov: 25: 11 says; “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”

Happiness is an age-old question. It is hard to define happiness because each one defines happiness in different ways. In the American society happiness means success, but often it is happiness that brings success.  There is a tendency in the world or the myth of happiness “If I have or I will be happier when … for a shopaholics if they have the power to purchase things make them happy. Some other people believe happiness comes when they are married to the right person, some other blame their past mistakes and bad choices like fallen relationships. If they have their dream job they will be happy.  If they are rich and successful they will be happy, if they are not diagnosed with their sickness they will be happy. For some happiness is liberation from oppression, freedom from captivity, and an experience of justice and righteousness.

At the end of the day, if you focus on negative events you will shut out your awareness of the positive and your chance to be happy.  Happiness is a matter of choice and if you choose to be happy you can. Victor E. Frankl the founder of logo therapy a survivor of holocaust said; Surviving to find meaning in one’s life is the primary motivational force in human being. With out meaning people fill the void with hedonistic pleasures, power materialism, hatred, boredom or neurotic obsessions and compulsions.

Dr Amit Sood, who conducted a research on happiness says, 40 to 50 per cent of your happiness depends on the choices you make and where you place your focus each day. You have the right to choose to live focusing on what is right and beautiful in your life.  Happiness is a habit, some of them are born with it and others have to choose it and develop the pattern of behavior. Previous research has shown that human minds are hard-wired to focus on negative experiences.



Dr. Binu Peniel

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