Permission For Success And Best Life

Dr. Binu Peniel 

Sometimes it is not others but we ourselves are our own enemies. Today my team member asked me for permission to buy a new set of cables for the new refrigerator that we installed in our office. Throughout life, we need permission from our teachers, parents, elders and religious leaders. Then we come to a palatalized state in life that we become conditioned to seek permission to unlock our full potential. I often make a critic of religion that conservationism makes you buried in a box and then make you struggle to get out. Through these lines, I am here to give you permission to succeed. At the outset let me ask you this question? What is your dream? What stops you from reaching your dream? Are you in need of permission to move forward in life? Are you unconsciously stuck? Consciously this may not make any sense. Are you struggling with guilt, trauma, brokenness and secret?  

I can't teach you anything. I can only help you discover and awaken what is within you. I have heard people saying why can't you be happy with what you have? My thinking was what is wrong with having a big dream or striving for excellence. To succeed in life always remember that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Don't just bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors, try to be better than yourself said: William Faulkner.

1. Give yourself permission to succeed.

You are capable of accomplishing mighty things if you give yourself permission. Many people are afraid of success. Success is a subjective reality. You have the power to define what it means to you personally. No matter what it means to you, you must own it and live up to it. High-performance habit is what is required. Start now because you don't have mastery over your past or your future.  Those who have control over the present has mastery over the past and future. Don't operate life on default. Life has no significance or meaning at that mode of operation. Strive for greatness and define your life purpose. Ultimately give yourself permission to succeed. Remove the block even if they are unconscious. I am reminded of the iceberg illustration of success. 

2. Give yourself permission to fail.

Once someone asked a very successful person what is the secrete being your success. He said; experience. How do you get the experience the person asked, by having failures. Failure is not the opposite of success but part of it. There is something called learning that takes place while you fail. Failure doesn't mean the game is over but it means try again with experience. History teaches us that successful people triumphed in what they did simply because they failed and never surrender their passion. Give yourself permission to fail. I have seen people when they failed they are devastated. They commit suicide. When they fail in the exam they try to surrender. Remove fear of failure from your DNA. The schools should encourage failure not punish it. That is the reason why I say you don't need to go through the formal education system to be a learner. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing, said George Bernard Shaw. In the world where success is preached and celebrated don't be afraid to look like a fool. Failure is not a scar on your self-esteem. It’s a battle scar you can be proud of. Give yourself permission to fail. 

3. Give yourself permission to be yourself.

We live in a world where there is this greatest pressure to embrace a fake identity. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment said, Ralph Waldo Emerson. I lived personally in a different part of the world, there is pressure everywhere to be something else or be someone else. The secret in life may kill you.  Don't live your life for others, it is not worth living your life for others. No matter what? Your race, religion, faith, education is the best you can have. Accept the reality in life. Remove yourself from the baggage you carry. Forgive yourself. Let go of your past identity.  Remember the normalcy is not to please everybody at all times. You may please some people for some time. Give yourself permission to be yourself. 

4. Give yourself permission to be happy and Crappy

Happy "now" is possible because it is a matter of choice. When it comes to happiness there is a utopia that someday I will be happy or someone or something will make me happy. The someday or somebody or something never comes for many. Happiness is a skill. In order to practice happiness today, you need to create a habit of gratitude and mindfulness. Practice kindness and you will make the world a better place for everyone around you.  The acceptance of one’s negative experience itself a positive experience. Mark Manson. Having the negative emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy is a normalcy. Just like you enjoy your positive feelings you have. The best thing we have in the world is that we have the emotions. Accept those emotions and move on in life. Unlock your life potentials because your life matters, to you and the world around you. You are unique and there is no one like you. Give yourself permission to be happy and be successful and lead a life and the best life possible. 

Self-sabotage paralyzes millions of people from all walks of life, preventing them from fulfilling their dreams, goals, and ultimately their destiny. The need of the hour is to identify the conditions that underlie self-sabotage and success anorexia. Spent your time identifying what are the blocks to success and start giving yourself permission. Permission to succeed.

Theoretically speaking there is this idea of permissions from Transactional Analysis. Permissions are opposite to injunctions. The injunctions are established early in life between birth and seven years of age. They include, don't, don't be, don't be you, don't belong, don't be a child, don't be close, don't feel, don't grow up, don't need, don't be separate from me, don't be the sex you are, don't succeed, don't think and don't be well. These injunctions allow people to create a life script which they called life decisions. Later research also said the response of a child will be despairing (Accept the parent's message) or a defiant one (fight against the parental message). Later in life people develop counter-injunctions such as "be perfect, try hard, hurry up, be strong, please me etc." It all comes with a command adding should, the oughts, dos etc. 

The Bible Says Philip:4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think on these things. 

Dr. Binu Peniel

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