The world has come to a stage in life where we start
asking Google what is my name? The right way to ask is what is my identity. Identity refers to a sense of who one is as a person and as a contributor to society. It is personal coherence evolving time, social requirement, altered change and identifying the gender and sexual identity. Some of us are struggling with half orange and half lemon question?
While I was living in the Bahamas the church members use to call me with the
title Pastor, I felt unworthy of such title. I felt I was not educated enough. I
felt I was not pastoral enough, even though I have specialized master degree in
pastoral care and counseling. While I was teaching in a college back home in
India people called me Sir or Teacher. I felt the same spirit of
unworthiness. Then I realized my mission
is to give up "who I am" and become the person God made me or want me to be. It
was at the same point some one said to me that "God can't use a confessing
Christian." Don't take me negatively. I mean when we keep confessing for the
same old sins, we destroy our self-worth and feels inadequate.
Who am I? what is my mission? what is my
purpose in life? what God thinks about me? What God wants me to achieve in
life? who am I in Christ? I am sure we can't find the answers if we have the
attitude that I am not good enough. I can't live up to what others expect. I
don't have what it takes, I can't just do it all. Until we bring our ego
within us or the shadow self or the inner me, we are not going to go far in
life. Remember God's view of me is different from what I think of myself. God's
perspective about us is visible in the Bible. We are His masterpiece, we are
God's righteousness, We are God's purchased possession. The lord says to Gideon in
the bible; you are a mighty warrior.
While I was in the seminary during my second
or third year I don't exactly remember we had a retired teacher who wants all
the students to write the answers while quoting the bible verses in King James
Version. I am not a fan of King James or
any other particular translation, because I believe all the translations of the
bible is limited. It is better to study in the original language. I wrote my
exam which was around 6 pages I guess. My teacher gave me zero mark out of hundred. I lost my identity at that movement, but
then I thought for a moment. It hit me hard at the bottom end. I told myself that I can always do
better than this in the future. That perspective changed and helped me a lot in the rest of my
life. God has given much more than we can think or imagine. When God gives
some responsibilities, it is less of our power or identity but it is more
about His presence.
Whereever I lived my identity was related
with minority. While I grew-up I was a part of a religious minority in India. I was also a part of an Indian minority community while I lived in the Bahamas, one among the 300 or less Indians who lived in the Bahamas. Now I am a minority Indian living in the US. On the other side, I am a human sapiens one out
of 7 billion or more people in the world. I am part of the global Christian
community which consists of billions of people in the world. I am part of the majority.
When you are with God you are not a minority.
Life can always be approached in two or more
perspective. Just like the GPS gives us the satellite frame work in our journey
it is better to seek God's perspective about our situations. Sometimes I often
ask the question to myself at the cross road of decisions that am I taking my
decisions in the light of eternity? Am I spending this money in the light of eternity?
I had these watch word in my life which helped me with my identity crisis: Keep
laughing, Keep longing and keep learning. There is no mountain a believing human
being cannot conquer. Coming from an Indian village, I had many good role models for a while, then I become my own competitor. I started to conquer myself, my limitations and my dreams.
It is relevant to quote C. Joy Bell: “Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.”
Binu B. Peniel
It is relevant to quote C. Joy Bell: “Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.”
Binu B. Peniel
2015 (C) binu.peniel@gmail.com
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